In the first couple of years of my son's life, once he went to bed the mom part of me was mentally done for the day. Our bedrooms in my former house were a hallway width apart. My tuned-in ears of a mother were always on, but I rarely went back into his room to steal one more kiss or to watch him sleep. It didn't occur to me to do that until reading a friend's Facebook status.
Our bedrooms are adjacent to one another now. Every night before I go to bed, I return to my son's bedside, readjust dream swept covers, lean in next to him, kiss his upward turned cheek, and soak up his sleepy peaceful warmth. Seldom does his pattern of breathing change and seldom does he move. His subconscious mind knows that his love-struck mother is snuggling in for one more kiss goodnight. He is rooted in my love, my guidance, and my support.
There are nights when I wake up, mind whirring of tasks undone, tasks ahead of me, and much needed sleep evaded. Cups of chamomile and lavender tea, homeopathic sleep aids, stretching, and disengagement from electronics before bed have helped me regain more restful nights. On the mornings after I sleep well, I wake renewed, rooted in where I am, and smiling knowing that I am doing my best to give my son roots for whatever his life journey may hold.